I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
the liver wants what the liver wants
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
