never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
