I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
