hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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