Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
