I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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