just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
