When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
