people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
