New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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