I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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