I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
