I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
