If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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