Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
