I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize