My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
