I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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