we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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