There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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