i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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