i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
