She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
