Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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