The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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