Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
