is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
