guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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