I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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