i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
