I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize