My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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