they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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