I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
