fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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