her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
