ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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