Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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