watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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