fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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