i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
