i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
