I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
