I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
