..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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