This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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