Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
