god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
