I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
