i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
