last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
