I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
