oh god the rape fog is back!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
