I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize