when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
