giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
