so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
