Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
