Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
