I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
