just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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