I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
