I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize