is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
