Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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