I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
