sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize