I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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