I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I skipped work to stalk him.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
