It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I didn't notice because vodka
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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