you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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