ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
